Couples Counselling
A relationship is one of the biggest investments we will ever make. Like any investment, it requires consistent time, energy, and attention to grow. Life often gets in the way and, without realising it, our relationships slip to the bottom of our priorities. We stop investing and nurturing, and slowly the connection that once came naturally begins to feel like hard work. This is where couples counselling can help.
Navigating the complexities of a relationship, whether marriage or long-term partnership, means both parties must commit to overcoming challenges together. At New Leaf, we offer Couples and Marital Counselling in Singapore to help you resolve conflicts, improve communication, and rediscover the foundation of your relationship. When our partner’s flaws test our patience, or we fail to see eye to eye, misunderstandings and resentment can build over time. No relationship is perfect, and no two people are the same. Both partners must accept shared responsibility for maintaining a healthy, respectful relationship, even in conflict. Seeking support is not a sign of failure but a sign of commitment to something worth fighting for.
What Is Couples Counselling?
Many believe couples counselling is only for relationships on the verge of breaking down. In reality, it is just as valuable for couples who are doing well and want to strengthen their foundation before challenges arise. Many skills that help relationships thrive, such as healthy communication, emotional regulation, and conflict resolution, are rarely taught. Couples counselling gives you and your partner tools to build these skills together so you can face life’s challenges as a team.
Emotional struggles with a loved one can be overwhelming, especially when they raise doubts about the relationship’s future. Some couples navigate these difficulties on their own, but others benefit from guidance from a qualified professional.
Conflict is not inherently a bad thing. It is an inevitable part of any relationship. What matters most is not whether conflict arises, but how we choose to resolve it together.
Couples counselling helps you work through misunderstandings and emotional challenges with guidance from an impartial professional in a safe, confidential setting.
Whether navigating a difficult season or looking to strengthen what you have, you can expect a supportive space where sensitive issues are explored openly and confidentially, without judgment.
When Should Couples Consider Counselling?
Couples counselling is not only for relationships in crisis. Whether navigating a difficult period or wanting to invest in a good relationship, seeking support at any stage shows commitment, not failure.
Many skills that help relationships thrive, such as healthy communication, emotional regulation, and conflict resolution, are rarely taught. Counselling gives you and your partner tools to build these together so you can face life’s challenges as a team. From rebuilding trust and resolving conflict to deepening connection and developing shared goals, our therapists help you move forward with clarity and understanding, no matter where you are.
Common Signs That Couples Counselling May Help
You may consider couples therapy if you experience any of the following:
- You feel there is emotional distance or a loss of connection with your partner.
- There are trust issues, secrecy, or infidelity in your relationship.
- There is a communication breakdown, and your feelings feel unheard.
- Frequent arguments between you and your partner are not getting resolved.
- You are facing parenting or co-parenting issues.
- You are experiencing pressure from in-laws, family, or culture.
- You are entering a new chapter together, such as marriage, parenthood, or relocation, and want to navigate it as a team.
- You want to strengthen your communication and deepen your connection before challenges arise.
- You are both committed to growing together and want to build a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
- You want to develop practical tools and skills to manage conflict in a healthy and constructive way.
- You are in a good place, but want to invest in your foundation, so your relationship continues to thrive.
What Happens During A Couples Counselling Session?
Before counselling or interventions begin, the assessment phase must be completed for couples and marital counselling.
At New Leaf Counselling & Integrative Health, we start all couples and marital counselling with the Gottman Method, using a structured four-session assessment phase. This helps us understand your relationship thoroughly so we can support you effectively before therapy begins.
Before starting, both partners must feel ready and committed to working on the relationship. This greatly improves the process.
1. First Appointment:
- 90-minute joint session as a couple.
- Focuses on understanding relationship patterns and setting a foundation for therapy.
1a. Gottman Questionnaire (Online – Outside Of Appointments)
- After this appointment, if both partners choose to proceed, each will receive the Gottman Couples Questionnaire via email.
- To send the questionnaire promptly, payment for individual sessions must be made in advance.
- Takes approximately 1.5 hours.
- It can be saved and completed over multiple sessions.
- To be completed individually and in as much detail as possible.
2. Second Appointment:
- 45-minute individual session (Partner A).
These individual sessions provide a safe space to explore personal history, concerns, and how past experiences affect the relationship.
3. Third Appointment:
- 45-minute individual session (Partner A).
These individual sessions provide a safe space to explore personal history, concerns, and how past experiences affect the relationship.
4. Fourth Appointment:
- 90-minute joint session as a couple.
- Review of key findings and tailored recommendations aligned with your shared goals.
We recommend completing the assessment phase over 3 to 4 weeks to build a strong foundation before starting therapy.
5. Beginning Your Sessions Together
Once your assessment is complete, your counsellor will recommend either weekly or fortnightly sessions. The final choice is always yours to make as a couple.
From there, the real work begins. You’ll meet your counsellor as often as you both feel comfortable, focusing together on the areas that matter most to your relationship, whether that’s healing, growth, or simply feeling more connected.
6. Progress Continues At Home
Each session lasts 90 to 120 minutes, depending on the couple’s choice, but the journey doesn’t stop there. To help you get the most from your time together, your counsellor will set gentle homework to carry into everyday life.
Please don’t worry, this won’t take up much of your day. It’s usually small, consistent changes you can build into quiet moments together, perhaps over morning coffee, in the evening, or during a phone call. These little steps, practised regularly, are often where the deepest progress happens.
Relationship Challenges Couples Counselling Can Help With
- At New Leaf, our qualified practitioners are experienced and equipped to support you and your partner through any challenges you wish to address, no matter how complex or unique.
At New Leaf, our qualified practitioners are experienced and ready to support you and your partner through any challenges, no matter how complex or unique.
- Communication difficulties.
- Trust issues.
- Concerns about intimacy.
- Negative communication patterns.
- Repeated arguments.
- Secrecy or dishonesty.
- Insecurities within the relationship.
- Infidelity or unfaithfulness.
- Improving listening skills.
- Improving verbal communication.
- Improving skills to help with conflict resolution.
Our Approach To Couples Counselling At New Leaf
Every couple is unique. Our tailored counselling programmes aim to make you feel understood and supported throughout your journey towards closeness, to address conflict constructively, and to establish shared meaning within your relationships. Our counsellors strive to help you rebuild respect and trust by customising these principles to fit each couple’s dynamics and challenges.
To prepare for scheduling weekly or biweekly sessions, complete the contact form on our website. Our team will guide you through the process and match you with a counsellor suited to your needs.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy
The Gottman Method, developed by Drs John and Julie Gottman is a highly effective, evidence-based approach grounded in over 40 years of rigorous research with more than 3,000 couples. Proven to improve relationship satisfaction and long-term outcomes, this method offers hope and optimism for couples seeking to strengthen their bond.
It focuses on three core pillars of healthy, thriving partnerships:
- Nurturing friendship and connection.
- Managing conflict in constructive ways.
- Building shared meaning and purpose.
At New Leaf, we use this research-backed framework to help couples enhance communication, rebuild trust, and deepen emotional intimacy, laying a solid foundation for a meaningful and enduring relationship.
The Gottman Method is most effective when both partners are genuinely committed. This means attending sessions regularly, engaging openly and honestly, and applying what is learned between appointments. Insights and skills only take root when practised daily. Couples should invest time outside sessions completing exercises and reflections. When both partners share this commitment, results can be transformative.
Reasons Couples Seek Gottman Therapy
- Frequent conflicts and arguments.
- Poor communication.
- Emotional distance or impending separation.
- Sexual difficulties.
- Infidelity reasons.
- Financial disputes.
- Parenting concerns.
- They want to improve their listening skills.
- They want to improve their verbal communication.
- They want to improve their skills to help resolve conflicts.
How Is The Gottman Method Used In Couples Therapy?
Conflict is a part of any relationship, and how couples navigate these conflicts can determine the state of their relationship together. In his research, Gottman noted that couples who ended up separating exhibited certain behaviours that he calls the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” These were:
1. Criticisms of the partner’s personality, especially over perceived negative traits.
2. Defensiveness when criticised for something, warding off a perceived “attack”.
3. Stonewalling, or refusing to interact with the other and preventing meaningful communication.
4. Contempt, such as making statements from a relative position of superiority.
Gottman also finds that marital conflicts are generally divided into two categories: resolvable and perpetual. Per their research, 69% of marital conflicts are perpetual problems, so the Gottman Method intends to help couples work through these together with a calm mind and consideration for each other’s feelings.
As such, the Gottman Method can be instrumental in helping couples work through many relationship issues, including frequent arguments, emotional distancing, and more. Even for couples in healthy relationships, the Gottman Method can be valuable in allowing them to understand each other better at any stage of their relationship.
Early support for couples makes all the difference.
Relationship challenges are common. Some couples benefit from seeking professional help earlier, when conflict, communication, or emotional distance start to harm the relationship. According to the Gottman Institute, unhappy couples often wait an average of 6 years before seeking help.
Statistics in Singapore show that marital dissolutions increased by 3.7%, from 7,118 in 2023 to 7,382 in 2024. Couples who had been married for 5 to 9 years accounted for the largest share of divorces in 2024, at 29.0%.
How Much Does Couples Counselling Cost?
| Counsellor Level | Practitioner | Duration | Office Hours Fees | Outside Office Hours Fees |
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Lead Counsellor |
60 Minutes |
SGD 310 |
SGD 340 |
|
|
Lead Counsellor |
90 Minutes |
SGD 465 |
SGD 510 |
|
|
Senior Counsellor |
60 Minutes |
SGD 240 |
SGD 270 |
|
|
Senior Counsellor |
90 Minutes |
SGD 360 |
SGD 405 |
|
|
Counsellor |
60 Minutes |
SGD 200 |
SGD 230 |
|
|
Counsellor |
90 Minutes |
SGD 300 |
SGD 345 |
|
|
Associate Counsellor |
60 Minutes |
SGD 170 |
SGD 200 |
|
|
Associate Counsellor |
90 Minutes |
SGD 255 |
SGD 300 |
Our counselling and therapy services are available in English, Mandarin, Korean, Marathi, Hindi, and German.
Types of Couple Counselling Available
Pre-Marital
Counselling
Our pre-marital counselling provides a secure, confidential, and nonjudgmental space. Here, you can explore critical aspects of your relationship that are often overlooked in conventional discussions.
Marital
Counselling
Marital counselling helps couples in Singapore looking to strengthen their relationship, resolve differences amicably, and improve their communication for a healthy partnership.
Discernment Counselling
The purpose of Discernment Counselling is to help couples move from confusion and pressure to informed, thoughtful decision-making, whether that means rebuilding the relationship or ending it with understanding and respect.
How To Choose A Couples Counsellor in Singapore
Choosing the right couples counsellor can make the process safer and more productive. When selecting a counsellor, couples may consider these factors:
- Availability of multi-language options to suit you and your partner’s communication needs.
- Verify that any counsellor or psychologist holds the appropriate credentials, including a relevant educational background and active registration with recognised professional bodies in Singapore, such as the Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC) or the Singapore Psychological Society (SPS). Registration with these organisations ensures that practitioners are held to consistent professional standards, including adherence to a code of ethics, regular supervision, ongoing training, and continuous professional development.
- Availability of online or in-person counselling sessions.
- Experience and professional credentials in couples and relationship counselling.
- The counsellor’s ability to work with both partners in a balanced manner, ensuring each feels comfortable sharing their personal experiences.
- After the first session, check in together as a couple to see how you both feel about the counsellor and whether the therapist is a good fit for you both.
Meet Our Practitioners Specialising In Couples Counselling
Joshua Koh
Counsellor
Soolin Choi
Counsellor
Diandra Andersen
Counsellor
Shrutika Kapoor
Counsellor
Fiona Maher O'Sullivan
Counsellor, Speakers
Vivien Tay
Counsellor
FAQs About Couples Counselling
Q: Can Couples Counselling Help If Only One Partner Wants to Attend?
A: While mutual participation from both partners is more beneficial in a couples counselling session, we understand that in many relationships that need counselling, one partner might hesitate to attend. However, starting with individual therapy and working on couples’ issues can still be a helpful step. During this session, our therapist can guide you in processing your feelings and experiences in the relationship, helping you learn healthy communication and coping techniques to navigate complex relationship situations, even without your partner’s direct involvement. While it is not a guarantee, your partner may become more receptive to attending a session together over time.
Q: Is Couples Counselling Suitable for Every Relationship?
A: Couples counselling is a useful step couples can take to address issues within the relationship and in each individual. Although some couples may benefit from it, for example, to address unresolved issues or difficult communication in the relationship, it may not be for everyone. For instance, if one partner has mentally checked out and is completely resolved on ending the relationship, couples counselling may not be able to help. Couples counselling is also not recommended for couples who have only been casually dating for a short time, or couples with a history of domestic violence or abuse.
Q: How Many Couples Counselling Sessions Are Needed?
A: The exact number of sessions needed depends on each couple’s needs. We find that most couples typically need between 10 and 20 counselling sessions to see significant improvement. Please note that all of the session numbers mentioned here are separate from the 4-session assessment phase, which is in addition to these figures.
This range may vary depending on the issue. While some issues can be addressed in 4 to 6 sessions, more complex problems such as infidelity, long-term resentment, or trust issues often require 15 to 25 sessions, typically over a period of 4 to 10 months. For instance, couples facing minor communication issues or disagreements may benefit from 3 to 6 sessions. On the other hand, issues that need deeper healing, such as navigating trauma or infidelity, may require 12 to 20 sessions.
Q: What Is The Difference Between Couples Counselling & Marital Counselling?
A: Marital counselling and couples counselling are similar in that both help improve communication, resolve conflict and more. The key difference lies in the relationship stage. Marriage counselling addresses issues specific to married couples, while couples counselling supports long-term partners who are not yet married, are at different stages in their relationship, or choose not to marry. While most topics covered are the same, some may vary depending on the couple’s unique circumstances.
Q: What If We Argue During The Session?
A: Arguing during couples counselling is actually common, and you should not feel discouraged by it. In fact, arguing can help uncover real communication patterns that you may not have noticed before. If any arguments happen during your session, your counsellor will help to manage tension with timeouts, ground rules, and reframing when needed. Any harmful behaviour, such as yelling or contempt, will also be stopped and redirected. You may even learn practical tools to help you manage arguments better, including techniques of de-escalation, active listening, and conflict repair skills.
Q: Is Couples Counselling Confidential?
A: Yes, couples counselling is completely confidential. Our counsellors are committed to upholding professional ethical standards and privacy laws. They will not disclose any information you share to outside parties without your consent, except in legal or safety risks like harm to self/others, child abuse, or court orders. However, keep in mind that confidentiality is typically “three-way,” which means your counsellor will not keep secrets told by one partner from the other.
The Gottman method – about (2024) The Gottman Institute. Available at: https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/ (Accessed: Summer 2024).
Prepare/enrich (2024) Prepare/Enrich. Available at: https://www.prepare-enrich.com/ (Accessed: Summer 2024).
