We all express feelings of love in different ways. At the same time, each of us has our own preferences in how we choose to be loved. For example, your partner may feel most loved when you encourage them with uplifting words after a long day, while you feel extra special when they surprise you with a small gift that lets you know they are thinking of you.
Learning the different types of love languages that you and your partner have can be a great way to strengthen your connection and deepen your relationship. Here is your ultimate guide to the 5 types of love languages.
1. Words of Affirmation
This love language type is all about expressing affection and appreciation through spoken and written words. This may be a love language type if you find it natural to say how much you love and cherish your partner, or give them compliments. You also feel deeply loved when you:
- Are told that you are appreciated
- Get thoughtful compliments
- Hear “I love you” often
- Receive words of encouragement
The key to this love language is to show your feelings to your partner through sincere words, even if you are not expressive. You can also check in on them throughout the day and give them some encouragement. Even something as simple as “Thank you for all your effort to prepare this amazing meal” may mean a lot to them.
2. Quality Time
Individuals with quality time as their love language appreciate spending time together with their loved ones. They go out of their way to have meaningful time alone with you, free of distractions, and love it when you:
- Makes a point of having a date night, no matter how busy they both are
- Turns off the phone when they are together
- Initiates a special occasion to spend time together
- Cuddle together in bed for a few minutes before getting up
Remember that what every person considers quality time may look different. It also does not simply mean spending time in the same room or doing a shared activity. Really make time to be together and give them your undivided attention during this moment.
3. Receiving Gifts
For someone whose love language is receiving gifts, the meaning behind the gift matters more than the gift itself. They feel deeply appreciated knowing that their loved one puts much thought and effort into getting them something. At the same time, they tend to go out of their way to prepare special gifts for their loved ones. Here are some things a person with this love language type enjoys:
- Getting their favourite food or drink picked up on your way home
- Being surprised for no particular reason, or ‘just because’ gifts
- Being shown a keepsake from your early days of being together
If your partner has this love language, it does not mean that you have to constantly give them extravagant gifts. A small memento with a meaningful thought behind it is enough to remind them that they are loved.
4. Acts of Service
For individuals with this love language type, actions always speak louder than words. The acts of service they give to their loved one are not always grand gestures, but thoughtful and selfless acts that put the needs of others above their own. People with this love language tend to:
- Be delighted when getting help for a chore without having to be asked
- Always be ready to do little favours to ease another’s burden
- Enjoys running errands for their busy partner
These acts of service are not always romantic in nature, as the friends and family of those with this love language often benefit from these acts too.
5. Physical Touch
Individuals with physical touch as their love language enjoy expressing and receiving love through physical contact. This refers to consensual touches that may be different depending on the person’s personal boundaries and the type of relationship they are in. When you have a partner with physical touch as their love language, you may notice that they enjoy:
- Being randomly hugged, held, or kissed by their partner
- Being comforted physically when they are feeling down
- When their partner is generous with affection, including appropriate public displays
- Spending time cuddling in bed before and after sleep
Physical affection can be shown through small gestures, or more intimate contact, including sexual activities if appropriate. The key is consent, as both individuals involved should convey that they are comfortable and willing.
If you or your partner is struggling to navigate your relationship, or feels that your partner does not reciprocate the love and effort that you are giving, it does not necessarily mean your partner does not love you enough. You may need to be more aware of each other’s love languages that you prefer to express and receive. Also, keep in mind that every person may not only have one love language, as there are usually two types that stand out the most.
New Leaf Counselling provides relationship counselling in Singapore to help couples understand their unique love language types, grow closer, and enhance the quality of their relationship. Get in touch with us to book our counselling in Singapore today.
References
Chapman, G. (2015) 5 love languages. Turtleback Books.
