When couples seek therapy, there are various methods of therapy that they can consider, each with unique approaches and techniques. The Gottman Method of Couples Therapy is a well-researched method that couples often consider to strengthen their relationship. Some other popular methods include Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Marathon Couples Therapy. How does the Gottman Method compare with other types of couples therapy? Let us learn more about each one so that you and your partner can make a sound choice to help your relationship grow.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy
The Gottman Method is an evidence-based therapy approach developed by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman. Drs. Gottman studied real-life couples for decades, predicting their probability of divorce with startling accuracy. This research identified the aspects that determine the course of a relationship. Based on their findings, they created the Gottman Method, which is a therapy approach to strengthen couples’ emotional connection by improving communication and how they deal with conflicts.
The core areas of this therapy include:
- Interrupting destructive conflict patterns
- Strengthening positive communication habits
- Growing mutual respect
- Strengthening intimacy and connection
- Building understanding between partners
- Developing empathy for each other’s experiences
The Gottman Method of couples therapy is highly structured, beginning with an assessment to see how the couple acts around each other. This is followed by the introduction of certain tools to address problems and resolve conflicts. After the session, couples gain skills they can start using immediately, such as increasing positive interactions that strengthen instead of damaging their relationship.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) For Couples
EFT was a method developed by Dr. Sue Johnson based on the principle that a better emotional connection will lead to a stronger relationship. This approach helps couples understand emotional responses and attachment patterns, with a strong focus on active listening and reflecting to build emotional safety and bonding.
The core areas of this therapy include:
- Identifying and changing negative emotional cycles
- Expressing emotions, needs, and fears
- Creating a stronger emotional bond
- Shifting from defensive or attacking stances to being accessible and engaged
- Rebuilding trust and intimacy
EFT evaluates couples’ attachment history based on past relationships, traumas, and learned patterns to help couples realise how it affects their communication and connection. The therapy aims for couples to remain emotionally connected even when having a disagreement, using their bond as a strong foundation to resolve the conflict together.
Marathon Couples Therapy
Marathon couples therapy is a structured and intensive therapeutic retreat that may last two to three consecutive days. This can be an alternative to traditional weekly therapy in Gottman Method couples therapy. Each day involves 6-8 hours of focused work created to accelerate progress through healing and reconnection.
The core areas of this therapy include:
- Addressing underlying dynamics that fuel disconnection
- Learning the science behind healthy relationships
- Practising new communication skills
- Participating in a mix of one-on-one and couples sessions with a therapist
- Resolving long-standing conflicts
During the retreat, couples will have time to discuss their struggles in a greater depth. This allows them to process past injuries and rebuild their relationship with the new skills learned during the sessions.
Which Therapy Approach is the Right One?
While every couple has different needs and preferences, therapy is not one-size-fits-all. Ultimately, there is no single form of therapy that can be considered the best one.
When is the Gottman Method Recommended?
Couples who engage in the Gottman Method approach have the opportunity to improve communication and navigate conflicts more smoothly. It is particularly effective for couples who often feel distant and overwhelmed due to a lack of communication. These couples may feel like they are at the crossroads and realise their relationship still has much potential, but they just need to figure out how to resolve conflicts in a healthier way.
When is EFT Recommended?
EFT may be beneficial for couples who want to build a more secure emotional bond, especially if they are dealing with issues related to trust and emotional responsiveness. Couples who find it hard to share their feelings, have attachment wounds, and often struggle to manage their emotions when dealing with conflict can learn to listen and understand better with this therapy.
When is Marathon Couples Therapy Recommended?
Marathon couples therapy may be a good fit for those with busy schedules that hinder them from having weekly therapy sessions. Those who feel they need to get help immediately, or are on the brink, are also often advised to get a marathon couples therapy session. The immersive nature of the therapy helps couples address deep-rooted issues in a few days, during which they have uninterrupted time to reconnect and navigate relationship crises.
Below is a comparison table that highlights the key differences between each couple’s therapy approach.
| Approach | Primary Focus | Core Techniques | Mechanism of Change | Typical Length* | Suitable For |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Gottman Method | Conflict patterns, communication, and trust | Love maps, repair attempts, conflict skills | Reducing the Four Horsemen (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling) and increasing repair attempts | 12–16 sessions | Communication gaps, escalating conflict |
| EFT | Attachment injuries, negative interaction cycles | Enactments, emotion coaching, cycle mapping | De-escalate, access primary emotions, create bonding events | 12–20 sessions | Couples who are highly reactive during conflict, post-affair recovery |
| Marathon | Accelerated healing, deep and focused reconnection | Extended, immersive sessions, in-depth processing of injuries | Compressed timeline creates intense, shared healing experiences | 2–4 days, 6–8 hours/day | Couples needing a breakthrough or facing logistical/time constraints |
*The number of sessions is a general estimate and may vary based on each couple’s needs, as assessed by the therapist.
Managing Conflict and Rebuilding Connection through Couples Therapy
Many couples face a myriad of stressors every day. This does not mean that they should end the relationship, as most of the time, couples just need to learn how to navigate through conflicts and strengthen their communication skills. At New Leaf, our qualified practitioners are here to support you and your partner to have a happier, more fulfilling relationship. We provide relationship counselling in Singapore with an approach that considers your challenges, no matter how complex they are. Get in touch with us to book our counselling in Singapore today!
References
Emotionally focused therapy (no date). https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/emotionally-focused-therapy.
The Gottman Institute (2026) The Gottman Method – about | The Gottman Institute. https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/.
The Gottman Institute (2025) Gottman Method Marathon Couples Therapy Study – The Gottman Institute. https://www.gottman.com/gottman-method-marathon-couples-therapy/.
