Being in a relationship can bring us great joy. However, for some individuals, a relationship can also become a significant source of anxiety. If you find yourself constantly needing assurance from your partner or feeling anxious when your partner does not reply, you may be having the symptoms of relationship anxiety. By being aware of your condition, you can start managing your anxiety for a stronger and healthier relationship. Below, we will share some tips on how to deal with relationship anxiety.
What Is Relationship Anxiety?
Relationship anxiety is a type of anxiety disorder that affects individuals in romantic relationships. This condition is characterised by recurrent fear, doubt, and insecurity about their partner and the relationship. Individuals with relationship anxiety may find it difficult to trust their partner. They also tend to feel not good enough, and worry that their partner will reject or abandon them. Research shows that adults with relationship anxiety are likely to experience poor relationship quality due to stress, conflict, and decreased satisfaction.
Common Signs of Relationship Anxiety
While occasionally feeling anxious about your relationship may be normal, such as during conflict, here are the common symptoms of relationship anxiety.
Excessive Worry About the Relationship
Individuals who suffer from relationship anxiety may often worry about their relationships. They may have deep, intrusive thoughts that cause them to obsessively check their partner’s phone or social media. They also constantly wonder if their partners truly love them, will keep supporting them, and can be trusted.
Fear of the Relationship Ending
Relationship anxiety may cause individuals to intensely fear that their relationship will end, which leads them to feel despair, despite their relationship being in good condition. This may also manifest as physical symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, sweating, shaking, and nausea.
Seeking Constant Reassurance
Individuals who need constant reassurance from their partner that their relationship is fine may suffer from relationship anxiety. This need often stems from feeling that they are inadequate to keep their partner happy.
Trust Issues
Relationship anxiety can make it difficult to trust one’s partner. This can lead to constant suspicion and questioning, which hinders intimacy and causes frustration for both partners.
Avoidance
Relationship anxiety can make individuals heavily avoid situations that cause them anxiety. This may include serious discussions about the relationship or the future.
Relationship Anxiety vs Gut Feeling: What's the Difference?
Even though relationship anxiety and gut feeling may be hard to distinguish, there are some ways to differentiate between them. Relationship anxiety manifests as a more intense and prolonged fear. You may excessively picture ‘what if’ scenarios that spark negative emotions, making you desperate to find clarity from your partner.
On the other hand, a gut feeling may feel intense, but it does not result in the same frantic or pressured feeling as relationship anxiety. You may be able to share your doubts with your partner more openly and calmly.
Ways to Cope with Relationship Anxiety
If you feel constantly worried and uneasy in your relationship, you do not have to stay that way. Here is how to deal with relationship anxiety, which can help you gradually overcome it.
Recognise your Feelings
Start by acknowledging that you may have relationship anxiety. This helps you address your feelings in a healthy way. Try to reflect whether your worries are caused by unresolved past trauma or real issues in the relationship.
Learn to Communicate Openly
After getting a clearer understanding of your relationship anxiety, communicate honestly with your partner about it. Try your best to be calm when sharing your feelings without shifting the blame to them. Also, reduce constant self-defense or seeking reassurance to help your partner understand your feelings and work together to get the support you need.
Challenge Negative Thoughts
Anxiety can make you have intrusive thoughts that only see the worst possibilities. Learn to identify and challenge these thoughts. Replace them with more realistic perspectives. For example, you may constantly worry that your partner is seeing someone else because they do not answer your texts or calls. Start thinking that they may just be busy with work, and will reply to you once they have time. Focusing on making this mental shift can help reduce your stress and fears.
Practise Mindfulness
You can also manage your relationship anxiety through lifestyle adjustments. Practise self-care activities such as meditation, exercise, or journaling to help you be more mindful of your own feelings and thoughts. This can help you be more secure and grounded, which can slowly reduce the intensity of your relationship anxiety.
Seek Professional Support
Sometimes, dealing with relationship anxiety requires guidance from an impartial third party, such as a therapist. Seeking professional guidance can give you new insights and tools that put you on the path toward growth and healing. For instance, an anxiety therapy and counselling session offers a safe space to identify the reasons behind your relationship anxiety and learn ways to mitigate it. A mental health therapist can also guide you with therapy approaches such as Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), Emotional Awareness & Expression Therapy (EAET), or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for support with emotional regulation and to adopt healthier thinking patterns in your relationship.
Manage Anxiety and Restore Your Relationship with New Leaf
If you find yourself overwhelmed by negative “what if” scenarios about your relationship, it is important to remember that your anxiety is not always the same as your gut feeling. The good news is, you do not have to stay stuck with your anxiety. At New Leaf, we offer relationship counselling for couples who need support in navigating anxiety. Book a session with us today to start your journey toward a healthier, stronger relationship.
References
Karantzas, G. C., Simpson, J. A., Overall, N. C., & Campbell, L. (2019). The association between attachment orientations and partner evaluations: An ideal standards perspective. Personal Relationships, 26(4), 628-653.
Zaider, T. I., Heimberg, R. G., & Iida, M. (2010). Anxiety disorders and intimate relationships: a study of daily processes in couples. Journal of abnormal psychology, 119(1), 163–173. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0018473
